Striking Out On Their Own
by Cede-Lede
Summary: Mal and Jayne have had one fight too many. Set years after BDM. Established Rayne.


Hi. First time writing Firefly and, in particular River-speak here. Was it this terrifying for everyone? Anyway, this was just an idea that rolled around in my noggin when I thought about how often Jayne and Mal blew up at each other and how one or both of them would finally reach a breaking point where something would have to change or they'd shoot each other in a fatal fashion.

* * *

Another job gone wrong, another fight. Mal got cheated out of his deal and Jayne thought the whole thing could have been handled different. Better. And with more bullets. Nevermind that hind sight was 20/20. They were both wrong. And right. That's why the fights never ended. River couldn't escape the red rippling out from them. The whole ship was infected with their anger. It made her nauseous. They'd always had their disagreements; two alpha males residing under one hull. One always struggling to reign in his desire for dominance; the other continually reminding the first of his lower place and exacerbating the issue. It was doomed to failure, really.

River passed the pulsing red of the alpha, brooding in his room, and sought the source of the other. He had been in the cargo bay. Following orders - good little beta. His work completed, he now stewed in the lounge off the kitchen, staring angrily into his glass of Kaylee's engine brew. Without a word, River slowly walked to his side and ran her fingers through his hair. He'd been letting it grow out from his usually close-cropped look. She liked it long. Liked having something to grab on to. The only reaction to her touch was the tightening of Jayne's jaw, his entire body stiff. Like concrete. Immovable. He wasn't ready to let go of his anger. With so much emotion pouring from him, his thoughts were more likely to be unintentionally read by her. Spilling over his walls. But Jayne had built them up with bricks and mortar. His mind a fortress and only the red escaped. He didn't want her to know what he was thinking. But she knew. He'd thought it before.

Lightly, her other hand grazed down the arm holding his glass. She rested her hand on his and stroked his skin with the pad of her thumb. For a long moment, neither moved. Then Jayne roughly pulled his hand away and sighed heavily as he leaned against the back of the couch, drink lazily resting in his right hand. River crawled into his lap, straddling his hips, and laid her hands on his chest.

"We can leave," was all she said.

He winced and wouldn't look at her. Bringing her hands to his cheeks, she moved his face in line with hers until his blue eyes looked into her own brown orbs.

"We can leave," she said again.

Angry, he pushed her hands down with his free one. "Get out of my head."

"I was not in it. Your fortress is well-guarded tonight."

Jayne rolled his eyes at her figurative language. His temper was shorter than usual from his fight with Mal and it was rolling over into his conversation with her. Human nature.

"If it's what you want, why won't you agree with me?"

His lips tightened for no more than a seconds displeasure before answering, "Because it isn't what _you_ want, Riv."

The Jayne Cobb of eleven years ago would have just accused this one of going soft were he able. And then try to shoot Her Jayne. Which, of course, she would never allow. Fortunately, time travel was not a possibility no matter how much science fiction wished it to be. Time could not be altered or changed. There was no universal remote with a forward and rewind button. The only existent was the present for the past ceases to exist but in memory and the future can only be derived by statistic probabilities of which an infinite variety abounded. Presentism Theory - philosophy of time. The Jayne in front of her would probably agree his past self. But he would never agree to the shooting. Her Jayne was still very self-preserving.

"I want what is most conducive to our own happiness. I do not like it when you and the Captain fight any more than you do." Her hand returned to his hair-roughened cheek. "It hurts me to see you so red."

He huffed. "I thought I looked better that way."

It was her turn to wince. "At the time, it was better than the green."

Jayne sighed then, wrapping his left arm behind her back to support her as he leaned forward to set his glass on the table. He didn't lean back again. He simply wrapped his other arm around her as well and rested his forehead on her chin. The red was fading into a rusty brown but tufts of gray puffed out from his earthy hue. Exhaustion.

River ducked her head to lay a kiss on said forehead before scooting back just enough on his legs so that he could rest his head on her chest. Working her fingers through his hair, she massaged his scalp. A deep moan crept up his throat and the last of the pulsating red dissipated.

"I still think we should discuss it," she said into the ensuing silence, her hands trailing up and down his back.

Jayne leaned back enough to look at her, his now ruffled hair causing her lips to quirk. "There ain't nothin' to discuss."

Now _she_ was getting annoyed. "Why not?"

Returning her annoyance in kind, he replied, "Because there's about a hun'erd reasons I can think up that it's a stupid fool idea. Let alone what you can come up with."

"Shoot."

"Huh?"

"State your reasons."

"I done told you one. You don't want to go."

"There are enough psychics in this relationship without you undertaking the endeavor. Serenity is not a home for us if it becomes a cage for you. No dancing bears behind bars. Next."

The furrow between his brow deepened. If he continued at his current rate with such expression, the mark would permanently fix itself to his face. "But what about your brother and..."

"Birds hatch and grow and leave the nest. Fly their separate ways. I will miss them. I will miss Serenity. Bin, Lua, Serra, and Kaylee will cry."

"Not Bella?"

River scratched her nails in the short hairs at the back of his neck and smiled fondly. "No. She is much like her Papa. Too big for tears. She will be angry instead."

"Then there's reason number two."

"They will adjust. Bin and Bella are young enough that as long as we are happy and they have new stimuli to keep their brains actively engaged, they will be happy as well. You will miss them, too."

"Don't know about that."

"You will. But it's okay to miss those you leave behind." Resting her forehead against his, River closed her eyes. "Next."

"It's dangerous."

Her eyes opened and Jayne could feel her brow raise at the absurdity of that statement.

"It may be old, woman, but there's still people out there who'd turn you in if they stumbled upon yer warrant. Settlin' on some planet with no way off is just askin' to get caught."

"Who said anything about residing on a planet? We could buy our own ship."

"With what coin?"

"An average of 3.7 weeks between jobs and ten percent of the cut, adding our occasional side business game of chance and subtracting minor expenses for necessities and a few frivolous expenses, leaves a hefty stockpile after eleven years. The purchase of a modest vessel is entirely within our means."

"You have enough coin saved to buy an entire ship," Jayne repeated blankly. "Where exactly you been keepin' it?" He looked over her person as if piles of platinum might magically start pouring out of her clothing.

Here she looked a little guilty. "I may have also set some of each cut into a high interest rate bank account on our stops to Persephone."

Definite frowny face. "Under what name?"

"My chosen alias was Ellen Ripley. She was a..."

A waved hand halted her explanation. "How much?"

"Enough to support us while we repair our chosen vessel to its proper form."

"How much?" he repeated impatiently.

"9,537 platinum. Currently," she added, clearly as an afterthought.

Jayne's eyes glazed over even as they widened. "Wo de ma."

"We have enough."

"Well, yeah! What the hell were you savin' for?!" A shrewdness came to his eyes. "You see this coming? You see me wantin' to leave?"

Presentism Theory. _Fact_. She could not foretell the future. He knew this. Still. River chastely kissed his lips. "The statistical probabilities that the Captain and yourself would reach a breaking point were well-above average. But I did not have a specific purpose in mind when I opened the account, no. Next."

"We'd need a crew. I ain't inclined to trust folk I don't know around the lil'uns."

Another kiss. This time on the corner of his frowning mouth. She loved his mouth. "Good thing you have a reader for a wife. We will find suitable candidates. Next."

"We'd be puttin' the crew out real bad."

That old Jayne Cobb? He just tried to shoot Her Jayne again.

"Reader," she reminded. "We won't leave until replacements can be found."

A blue wisp streaked out from Jayne's chest. Hope. Fragile and smokey but there. River tried to grasp it with her fingers but only caught the material of his shirt.

"Why you doin' this?"

River didn't know what answer he was looking for and she wouldn't peak. So she simply told him the truth. "Because I want to."

He smiled for the first time since she walked into the room and those deep blue eyes locked on her, the depth of his love for her so apparent that the regular intake of oxygen ceased functioning properly in her body. Jayne had once been more afraid of the way he felt about her than he was of Reavers. Now the only thing he truly feared was losing her and the children. And Reavers, she mentally amended.

Recovering herself, she added, "That and Captain River sounds very engaging, don't you think?"

The smile fell right off his face. He really was too easy.

"Now wait just one minute..."

She kissed him. It was the simplest solution to these things. Also quite enjoyable.

"Mama?"

A rumpled Bin stood at the entrance to the kitchen. One of his pant legs was pushed up to his knee and his dark hair shot in a variety of directions. Father and son were very similar in that regard at the moment. Bin rubbed at one eye, the picture perfect representation of a sleepy child.

"In here, xiǎoxióng."

Their eldest child scurried down the stairs and over to his parents. Tucking into the space he was really much too big for between the edge of the couch and where they sat, Bin rested against Jayne's big arm, feeling the strength of it wrap around him.

"Nightmare?" Jayne asked.

Bin shook his head, pulling his night-time companion into his lap. Jayne frowned at the sight of the bear, known affectionately to all as Grr, but didn't say anything. He thought the seven year old was too old to be sleeping with a pansy teddy bear. Though after his initial grumbles on the subject, Jayne hadn't said another word. He'd never admit it was because he carried around a hankie his mother had made for him until he was ten.

"Bella's talkin' in her sleep 'gin. Tutu-wearing frogs are 'tacking Serenity and we haveta save the cookies." He giggled as he said it.

River nodded solemnly as if this was a very sound idea. "Yes, they are a rare commodity in the frog kingdom."

Bin and Jayne shared a look, the former giggling again, while the latter just pretended she made any sorta sense.

River smiled down at their creation, once again amazed that one little piece from each of them so freely given had become a single cell then billions and finally formed this astonishingly beautiful not broken little being. Caressing his cheek, River informed him, "You will have to go to sleep so you can dream up flies to distract the frogs away and save the cookies. Then you shall be a hero and Papa will have to give you a copper for saving the day."

Bin's eyes lit up. "Really, Pa? You'll give me a copper?"

Jayne's big paw landed on Bin's head and completed the rumpled look entirely by twisting his son's hair this way and that. "If'n you save the day."

Bin hopped up, ready to go back to bed. He looked at his parents expectantly. River and Jayne shared a smile and she leaned down to kiss him one more time before getting up. "Whenever you're ready, zhàngfū."

He knew she wasn't talking about going to bed either.

* * *

Xiǎoxióng = little bear

zhàngfū = husband


End file.
